Week 2 – Injanga in Zimbabwe

Injanga

Injanga - seee just like Scotland..not

Injanga pretending to be Scotland

Steven and Clive pondering

I have now remembered eldest son’s name which was Clive!  I guess they had high hopes he would be an explorer of Africa or India but sadly I don’t think Clive’s brain worked that way, mainly being interested in drink, drugs and not wearing any pants under his wide legged shorts.  I say this because sitting opposite him at a barbeque became a little difficult for me one day.  I know I shouldn’t have been looking but it was so hard not to and what I saw displeased me greatly.  The vision still lingers of a large hanging testicle covered with what I presumed were small warts. This did not go down well with the sausage I was currently eating and I began to feel nauseous, it would have been too obvious to have moved my chair and anyway, in those days I was quite stubborn (not like this now - *snigger*) and I felt he should stop crossing his leg, get some pants or move, and most certainly get something done about those warts.  I took Steven aside and quietly asked him to have a word with Clive discreetly.  Of course this happened in exactly the way I hadn’t intended with Steven marching up and saying “CLIVE!  Can you not put some pants on?  Juliette has a bird’s eye vision of your left testicle!”  Silence from all.  Clive laughed and asked me if I was enjoying the sight and that he never wore pants.  Steven interjected with “Of course she isn’t enjoying it! And you need to get those warts seen to”.  Barbeque wasn’t the same after that.  The following day Clive, I and Steven set of for Injanga in a pickup truck, I was in the middle….lovely.    

Dear Clive….he had forgotten to mention that not only does he not wear pants but that any form of deodorant was an enigma to him.  As we travelled the long miles I searched for a hanky so that I could have some masking from the aroma, I’m not the best traveller anyway but thoughts of suicide surfaced that or murder.  At the first pit stop again I grabbed Steven and told him I HAD to sit by the window, a request he didn’t approve of as he also could smell Clive and had happily travelled the distance with his head hanging out the window but thank god he succumbed to my womanly threats and evil eye.  

To anyone that ever gets the chance (should Mugabe die in the near future) Injanga is very beautiful, it’s mountainous and is compared to Scotland with sun by those ex pats living in Zimbabwe.  We lingered over night in a lovely hotel and thank god Clive had his own room which to be frank I would not have put it past him to have organised a three bed room.   

We then set of for Lake Kariba and the real bush where I was told we could be able to go tracking! Yeh………..gulp.